Thursday, July 1, 2010

EPIC News!

Yesterday morning started out like any other morning. There was an unusually blue sky and the weather was rather enjoyable, but since I slave my day away in darkness underneath the Advantage Center these particulars were, quite literally, window dressing. No kids showed up to my classes as I had predicted since summer school started this week, so I had my YJCs cleaning up the lab in anticipation for the Corps Day that will take place here at the end of the week. On a side note, this is the first time that I can see the runner along the floor of the back wall of my office in about a year, and my desk top (analog, not digital) has more empty space now than filled. Yay!

I got a call around 11:00 that went straight to message through the interesting telemetry that the lab presents to cell phone signals. I ignored it till I had finished setting out my next batch of instructions then checked it.

Area code 608? That's from Madis-

I quickly dialed my voicemail, my heart beat rising a bit. Perhaps they just had trouble contacting one of my references... I know that one of them in particular is getting ready to have a baby, which might have caused some kind of complication with my application. It was my HR contact from Epic, saying (in his usual aridly dry and strangely punctuated humorous way) that he had something exciting to discuss with me.

Letting my YJCs know that I might be squealing like a little girl presently I closed the door to my office and dialed my contact's number. He picked up on the first ring. He started off by saying that Epic was prepared to offer me a position and that they were excited to have me on board.

I did a fist pump.

He then jumped into the benefits, which I had heard already and had in paper form from my onsite interview. I knew most of them by heart, but adding in covering the expense to move me to Madison?

I started my happy dance. My YJCs looked up, shook their heads, and continued to work.

We then started talking about when I could start. August 2nd was bandied about, but we decided that September 7th (or even later if necessary) was the ideal time for me to start. Giving me about 2/3s of a month between my current job and the Epic one.

The happy dance picked up some angular momentum.

While I said that I would accept the position, he wisely informed me to wait till I heard the pay. "I mean, you probably don't want to agree if we offer you two dollars and a ham sandwich... though it'll probably be a bit more than two dollars and a ham sandwich."

I sagely said sure, reversing the direction of the happy dance's angular momentum but not its intensity.

He said to call him back after I had heard the offer, then bid me adieu.

I exited the lab and did a slow mo Tiger Woods fist pump. Then went to lunch and got back to work.

Three hours later someone from payroll called me. She said a number.

My happy dance started back up again as I tried not to make a sound.

1 comment:

Greg said...

On June 30, 2345, the Maxerbetzites will silently greet one another at Sunrise with slow, deliberate fist pumps as they have for centuries. Just before noon, they will all gather in their respective city centers and begin the Happy Dance, a ceremonial dance whose precise movements have been passed down and safeguarded in Tradition and Sacred Writ. The joy expressed in the citizenry's rhythmic fist pumps and synchronized angular momentum is contagious, inspiring onlookers to call their relatives and give them good news, as is customary on this special morning. With a profound, simultaneous last fist pump (called the W√ľdzpump), the Happy Dance is over: but the celebration has only begun. For 8 days and 8 nights Maxerbetzites will feast on assorted pizzas and varieties of peanut butter, and will lift their spirits with ceremonial Darcbier. For most, the celebrations cease on the 8th night (traditionally called Hango'ereen) when wives and girlfriends are encouraged to slap their mates to remind them of their responsibility to work as Max had worked. More strict sects, while observing Hango'ereen, do not return to work until September 7th, the official end of Epictide. Despite the pomp, the military parades and 30 Mech salutes, nearly all Maxerbetzites agree that the true spirit of the Feast of Max's Ascent to Epic is found in the smiling faces of the young citizenry as they greet each other with fist pumps on Epic Day morning. Such a humble start to so great a Feast may seem odd to outsiders (what's left of them), but it was precisely his own humble beginnings that made Max the beloved Overlord he was.